These Feelings
by Sand Dun
Summary: Zer0 is contemplating his feelings and relationship with Axton. They've been friends for quite some time now, but something has changed between them. Turns out it's not the worst thing.


There is something sensual and meaningful about the sidelong glances Axton will give him on occasion. He can't quite describe it, because he doesn't quite know what these looks mean. It gives him strange feelings, though. And these feelings are nothing like the oblique silence and occasional amusement he's used to. No, these feelings coil up in his stomach and seem to release all kinds of other feelings on him.

Things like uncertainty and even being flustered. At first he was certain he was coming down with something. Maybe he wasn't immune to everything. The pathogens on Pandora were completely new to his immune system. Even with the immunity injection before arrival, exposure to sickness was still possible. But he'd been on the planet for at least two months by then and had probably been put in at least three dozen situations where the chances of exposure to anything nasty was unquestionable.

No.

This is something different. And only Axton makes his palms get sweaty, his mouth dry, and his quick remarks run dry. Axton definitely isn't a disease or sickness either, because he likes him.

It's only started happening recently, within the last month really. It was as if some switch was turned on and suddenly there was something different between them.

Whether as before they had been good friends: sharing plenty of jokes, personal stories (mostly on Axton's side admittedly), and many smiles (holographic in his case, of course). Now they seem scarcely able to do small talk. Or at least he no longer feels that sort of relaxed comfort.

What is this barrier between them?

He doesn't understand. How can two people go from being friends to being so conscientious about one another?

It had been Axton who'd turned this metaphorical switch on. Suddenly he just seemed to deepen. Before he'd seemed rather swallow, as in very open. Zer0 felt there was little the man didn't tell him, because, somehow, he seemed to be very trusting of the assassin. But then all thoughtful talk of his wife Sarah stopped and so did their familiar relationship.

Now when Axton looks at him there's something deep in his eyes that confuses Zer0. He's never been good at relationships, mostly because he's never been in one. While he's spent so much of his life studying other people to learn their rhythm, their weakness, he's been oblivious to the complexity of the social world they live in.

His own society is very simple. An anonymous individual buys his skills, explains his mission, and he returns for payment (with proof if necessary or desired). There's little to no small talk, just a silent understanding. He's a killer, the angel of death, the grim reaper. Nobody wants to know him, because his path always leaves death in its wake.

So, becoming friends with not only Axton, but also Maya and Salvador was a new experience for him. Now he can understand what loneliness was. Before he was as accustomed to it as breathing-it was natural and needed. Now he can see how companions are useful and important.

From each of them he's learned many different things. Perhaps most importantly he's learned being alone isn't always best. In its sheer innocence and loyalty, camaraderie is an honorable and beautiful, social thing.

Now, as he sits atop the roof of Scooter's warehouse, he can't help but wonder how he didn't understand how lonely loneliness could be. Perhaps in his rapture of finding challenging kills everything seemed entirely trivial. It's only too true his life has been dedicated to the death of others.

Since landing on Pandora he's had a chance to explore a side of life he never dreamed of venturing through (literally; he never dreamed of being part of anything that included cooperation or being late of a party).

But here he is: alone right now, but only because he needs to think.

So much as been happening since Jack tried to kill them. And now he finds himself helping a group of former vault hunters to stop that tyrannical, jerk. He's actually become part of something more than being the ventilation for his employer's revenge and/or hatred.

He starts thinking about Axton again. What are these feelings he has for the former Dahl soldier? He can scarcely remember a time when anything of the likes was pumping through him. Normally he feels a cool disconnection to the world around him with the occasional twist of humor (admittedly probably sadistic humor to some).

Now there's this. It's not like the humored (and sometimes concerned) feeling he gets around Salvador. Or the reflective intrigue he gets around Maya. She's an interesting combination of sass and calamity. As for their newest companions, Krieg and Gaige, he doesn't have much to say about yet. Aside from Krieg is pretty much completely off his rocker and that Gaige can be annoying sometimes.

Axton, though. Axton is another story. He gets almost flustered in the man's presence. It's unrivaled. People never undo his emotional control, but as of recent, Axton has been undressing them. He's almost turned Zer0 inside out just by touching him and smiling that curiously attention-grabbing smile.

It can't be anything serious, right? He's only known Axton for 3 months. And most of that time has been spent running down bandits, helping the Sanctuary resistance, and meandering around taking on random jobs. Although, he supposes, a lot of those things leave time for so called "quality time". For example, enjoying jumping dunes in a high-speed race after bandits in The Dust. Teaching Axton the important aspects of sniping. Blowing stuff up.

Hmmm.

Thinking about it that respect he has spent a lot of time with Axton and most of it in good fun, too. There was rarely a moment the group felt garbed in seriousness, save whenever they were doing anything that included dealing with Hyperion. It went without saying Jack had gotten under each of their skin. He was a complete an utter ass. And if he was so "handsome" then why did he insist on wearing a mask?

Zer0 shakes his head slightly. Some people.

He tilts his head slightly as he sees Axton coming down the street from the center of Sanctuary. He's wearing his usual pleasant face. A hologram pops up on Zer0's face panel: ":)". He watches the former soldier wave and returns the expression in a more humanly manner.

"Hey," Axton greets once he gets closer.

"Hello," Zer0 replies. "I am bored /Do we finally have a mission? /To go and kill?" Axton shakes his head and chuckles. To Zer0 it sounds like the most handsome thing. He tilts his head curious for the soldier's reply. He really is bored.

"Not exactly." The assassin's shoulders visibly droop. "Ah, come on. The only reason you're miserable is because you're all alone," Axton adds. "Alone equals bored."

"Well, you are with me now." Zer0 feels a little cheeky and adds: "And I'm still bored." A hologram follows: ";)".

"Ha-ha. Maybe you're alone because you got a time out."

"A 'time out'? I do not time out. I only wait for the next opportunity." He watches his friend's shoulders shake. "Why do you laugh? I am bad ass and things like that stuff." Axton only shakes his head.

"Yep, there's only Zer0 on Pandora for sure."

"I would not like having a double." The response makes the man laugh again, something Zer0 finds oddly rewarding.

"So how did you get up there anyway?" Axton asks, looking around, although he half-expects the assassin just pulled off some ninja moves he's not capable of in this lifetime. He looks back to the roof when there's no reply. "Uh… Zer0?"

"It would probably be easier if I just came down."

"Fuck!" The former soldier spins around. "Goddamn!"

"Sorry. I did not think you would scare so easily." Axton straightens.  
"Well, when you come out of nowhere even the cockiest bastards might jump a little."

Zer0 stands and stares at him for a while. Why was Axton here? He watches his friend grow uncomfortable with the silence. Unusual. Normally Axton has more than a thing or two to say. "So… since it might be a while till we head out… I thought you might want to go get something to drink?" Zer0 doesn't even have to think about it before the hologram from his helmet comes up: ": )". "Okay, then." Axton gestures towards Moxxi's bar.

The rumbustious atmosphere of the bar has never been to Zer0's liking, but he can accommodate himself rather well if he's in good company. Besides Axton is observant enough to know a seat in the back would be most appreciated.

"I suppose you're not going to drink anything," he says. Zer0 shrugs. "This stuff isn't that bad, you know?" Axton takes a swig to prove his point, but can't help shuttering as the rakk ale drags down this throat. "It's an acquired taste," he quickly defends. Even though Zer0's mask is vacant of emotion when he isn't flipping off holograms, it's easy enough for him to guess what the assassin is probably thinking. "Besides, if you aren't going to have a drink, why come along?"

"Alone equals bored." Axton smirks. "You really should take off your helmet sometime. I'm going to think you're a robot otherwise."

"Robot, alien. What does it matter?" Then his face suddenly grows serious. Zer0 is surprised by the sudden anxiety he feels by the abrupt change brings.

"Look, Zer0…"

Zer0 grows rigid. He's observed this before. This is when people have something important to say. What does Axton have to say to him? It must be something about the way he's been acting…

He's probably noticed, then. Zer0's tried to tone down his unusualness around Axton, and he thought he'd been doing pretty well. Perhaps he's more obvious than he wanted to believe.

"It's just… uh… I've been thinking and… um." Axton's eyes are all over the place. He looks so nervous. Zer0 starts to feel it wear off on him more and more by the second.

So this is what nervousness feels like? He immediately hates it.

Finally the former soldier's eyes fall upon Zer0. The assassin stares at the uncertainty written all over his face. Whatever he has to say must be something _big_. He wants to know. "Is there something on my helmet?" he asks. This is a method he's seen people commonly use to 'lighten the mood'. It works a little, as Axton gives him a small smile. "Nope, looks intimidating as usual."

"Do I intimidate you?" Zer0 asks curiously.

"Well, at first."

"And now?"

"Now that I know you… I, uh, I like you more than I'm afraid of you." Zer0 feels something warm inside of him. It's something he's never felt before, but not unpleasant in the slightest. He displays the hologram almost timidly: "3".

Axton stares for a moment, then his handsome grin appears. He drains the rest of his ale. "Since Sal and Maya are taking their time, wanna go drive around? Blow stuff up?"

"I thought you would never ask."

Zer0 lets Axton walk a little ahead of him as they leave the bar and stares at the outlines of the man's well built body. He realizes he might just know what's going on with them, and it's definitely okay.

* * *

When I wrote this I hadn't played Borderlands in sometime. Still, the cute and attractiveness of this pairing was hard to resist, so this came along. :3


End file.
